Everyone seems to be excited to start a new beginning. There are endless quotes and inspirational stories that demonstrate that we, as humans, love a new beginning. “Every moment is a fresh beginning.” —T.S. Eliot. “The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide you’re not going to stay where you are.” —John Pierpont “J.P.” Morgan. “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” —Lao Tzu. We love to romanticize the beginning. The end of a chapter, however, is very difficult for us to deal with. Whether it is saying goodbye to a coworker after a job ends, saying goodbye to friends after a move, or saying goodbye to a loved one who is passing away, it is never easy for us to say goodbye. However, a healthy goodbye is a very important part of life and we would do well to learn some tips and tricks for why goodbyes are important, and how we can embrace that.
Every Chapter Ends
In order to embark on any new adventure, we first need to say a proper goodbye to the chapter we are currently in. Some people do not even like to say goodbye to their friends when a party is over. The difficulty only increases from there. There are many circumstances in which we will find ourselves saying goodbye. Let’s explore some of those options and attempt to find how we can start our new beginning with that goodbye.
- You are moving away and need to say goodbye to a friend. This is painful and will be a difficult adjustment. However, it opens the door for you to bring new people into your life. Or hey! Maybe your friendship with that person grows as you continue to reach out through long-distance. You could grow a friendship that is closer than you imagined. Saying goodbye to that friend properly though, is the only way for you to move on in your new location.
- You have a loved one who is passing away and you need to say goodbye. This is a way to show that person how much you love them. Make sure they leave this life with a proper goodbye showing them the respect they deserve for the role they have played in your life. This goodbye will be good for you by providing closure, and ensuring you have no regrets or words unsaid. It will allow you to move on with your life in the healthiest manner possible.
- You have been working with the same co-worker for many years and they are leaving the company. Be sure to say a proper goodbye to close the chapter properly on the working relationship. You can send an email or a group ecard, or just say goodbye in person. This will send your coworker off in a meaningful way to the next stage of their career and it is a nice professional courtesy.
6 Reasons Why Goodbyes Matter
There are many people out there who convince themselves that goodbyes are unnecessary and dramatic. This is not the case and to be honest, is a selfish mentality. Consider the second party in this goodbye and all the love and appreciation they could feel with a proper goodbye. It is so important to work through our own hangups in order to wish our loved ones and friends goodbye. Let’s talk about all the ways that goodbyes matter.
1. Mindfulness is Beneficial
Saying goodbye is a great way to be self-aware and mindful. Goodbyes tend to create a time of reflection. You reflect on the time you spent with that person, what you learned during that time, and how you grew as a person. You can be honest and self-aware with yourself and evaluate what you have done well during that time and what you can improve on. Taking the time to say goodbye and reflect on who you were during that chapter is incredibly beneficial for you and the other person.
2. Closure
Closure is real. It is impossible to fully embrace your next chapter when you have unfinished business in the past. Take the time during your goodbye to say what you need to say. Make apologies and tell them how you feel. This will help you walk into the next adventure with a clear conscience and a full heart. Every healthy goodbye you say will make the next one easier. It is just like exercising a muscle. Nothing is permanent in our lives and good practice on saying goodbye will help you come to terms with that.
3. No Regrets
Failing to say goodbye properly to a loved one in your life will almost certainly burn a bridge and leave you with regret. Regret is incredibly unhealthy and will always impede your happiness. Saying a proper goodbye, where you express your feelings towards that person, will help you have a clear mind and a solid focus on your future. Help avoid living in the past by making sure you say a healthy goodbye now.
4. Emotional Awareness
The reason we typically avoid goodbyes is that there are strong emotions associated with goodbyes that we are trying to avoid. It is SAD to say goodbye to someone. However, feeling sad and missing loved ones are normal natural emotions. Emotions should be felt, not avoided. This is another way we can exercise our emotions. Every time we face a goodbye head-on, no matter the negative emotions it may bring, we are helping ourselves handle our future emotions better. We are exercising our emotional side and leaving it healthier than we found it.
5. Show Gratitude Towards Relationships
One glaring benefit of saying goodbye properly is to show your gratitude for the role that relationship has played in your life. Everyone loves to feel appreciated and seen. If you avoid a goodbye, that person may leave your life for good without knowing what they meant to you.
6. Greater Appreciation of Time
As we stop and reflect on the time we spent with a person we are saying goodbye to, we are given the opportunity to see how fleeting time can be. Nothing lasts forever in this life, and it is a good reminder to be truly present in our current chapter and relationships. It will also help us get our priorities in proper order and define what truly matters to us in this lifetime.
4 Tips for Saying Goodbye
Now that we have a good understanding of why goodbyes are important, let’s talk about some tips for saying goodbye. It can definitely be overwhelming to think about saying goodbye to the people who are most important to us. Here are some ways to help you think about it and a healthy way and move forward.
1. Do NOT Avoid It
We have mentioned this, but under no circumstances should you avoid saying goodbye. It is not healthy to walk away from a relationship without saying goodbye and can lead to tension and hurt feelings.
2. Have Courage
Saying goodbye is hard, but we can all do hard things. Prove to yourself that you can push through your discomfort and say a meaningful goodbye. Express your feelings to the person as well so that you know you didn’t hold anything back.
3. Recognize That Goodbyes are Healthy
Goodbyes are a part of life and they are healthy. They help each party in the goodbye to move on with their next chapter. They provide closure to the relationship and set expectations for what to expect moving forward.
4. Focus on The Good Times
Goodbyes are often sad because we focus on the sadness of the change or ending. Why not switch your mindset and focus on all the fun memories you have created with this person during this chapter? This is especially helpful with mourning. It is so uplifting to talk about our good memories with our loved ones after they pass and we say our final goodbye. It is a way for your soul to truly heal from the grief.
Final Goodbye
Goodbyes are a part of our lives whether we like it or not. It is best to embrace the positives that can come from them. Focus on why they matter so that you can move on with the next part of your life. Goodbyes help us self-reflect, provide closure, help us show gratitude, and respect time, and help us handle our emotions in a better way. There are so many reasons why goodbyes are important. Take care of yourself and your loved ones by saying a proper goodbye.
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